Have I washed my hair? A very good sign. I have probably a) had someone by to help me with the babies, b) had a chance to take a nice, hot shower because Matt came home from work earlier than usual, or c) been able to sneak in the shower because the twins decided to take an extra-long nap.
Have I styled my hair and/or put on makeup? Another encouraging sign. This usually means I am feeling optimistic about the likelihood of leaving the house, or entertaining a guest of sorts. Alternatively, I could just be fed up with my hair looking awful, which is still encouraging, as it means I have yet to give up completely. Hooray.
Have I let my hair air-dry into a big poufy mess? Chances are you caught me looking like I look 95% of the time since the babies have come home. Do not be offended – at least it means I showered.
Am I sporting overgrown, bushy brows? Don’t judge, do you know how long it takes to properly shape unruly eyebrows? FOREVER, and it takes concentration. At least now I can pretend I’m just channeling Cara Delevigne.
Am I wearing maternity clothes even though I gave birth six months ago? Whatever, it’s comfy and it fits. At least I got dressed.
Have I answered the door with dirty hair, braless and in the pajamas I’ve probably been wearing for three days in a row? I have officially given up. It has been a rough day, and I am biding my time until it is over. Your best option to maintain our relationship (and to keep me from bursting into tears) is to smile, tell me I’m doing a great job and that I look pretty, and maybe make me something to eat, as I have likely been subsisting off of Corn Flakes for a week. (Note: this is especially important if you happen to be the man who married and impregnated me.)